Decisions.

When you decided to choose a partner, it means you have decided to stay together forever... and its a choice for both. Everything comes in pairs. 
And you need to make it works along with the chronicles of journey, with bitter sweet riding in the picture of perfection.
I am contented, thankful and blessed that I have found my other half in the most beautiful and mystical ways that GOD has planned for me.


My life, my world has been enchanted with many events, which comes in the forms of many subjects.  And I believed I am one of the charmed ones, not in a sexually inclination - but in my own powers that was bestowed to me, to whom only few will understand. Sometimes, I felt that my family will understand especially when they have been in many mystical events, beautifully arranged by the Creator itself, but my doubt is real. They do not to one extent where I feel that I am only in my own world. Until, one day, one moment, one encountered - I met my other half after years of my failure in seeking love.
Someone, who is out of the expected came into the unexpected moment just filled in the empty jug filled with mixed fruity blended juices. Bitter and sweet, consistently staying, pushing positively, coached, cared, loved and never want to let go of my decisions. My decisions in accepting the whole of ME.


For once after my 30 years of breathing, I have fully accepted that I am never crazy. I am never insane. But I lack the courage to explain and I do not deserved to even shared or obliged to explained my prowess of pictures that I saw in my dreams. My other half has decided to believe, guided and explored the beautiful dreams mystically played every now and then in my mind. I can always visual it, as it never leave my mind. The mindset is a powerful tools that I can never prove the existence of it, but I can convinced it with the events that came after. Has it really been there nor never, its up to me to decide if I ever wanted to let it stays. But it happened. My other half has decided that I should let it stay, to follow up on the beautiful events that will happen next. 


Decisions are not something that one can choose, but ones which can be finalized. And it visited you in many ways.


Marlini Ridlis Ismail

Furqan starts his Playgroup.

Today is the first day that Furqan our youngest son will start his first session of Playgroup. An early start for all my kids, Furqan at 20mths enters his preschool days at Al-Amin Preschool, same as his older brothers. This year, he will have an advantage, as Khair is still in K2.

As much as I want hime to be independent, make more friends and let him have his play time among his peers, my feelings of leaving him there eludes with a lot of anxiety. I will miss him every seconds as now even when he is asleep and I cant imagine when my boobs starts to engorge as a sign that he needs me. I am sure he will start crying the moment he step up the school van. Well, since Khair starts school only on Thursday, I cant imagine on how Furqan will cope today. Eventhough, we will be visiting him at school but not visibly showing signs of us.

I cant help but start to feel sad, sad at the thought that he will start to make new friends, sad at the thought that I will have my own 'ME' time but deep inside, Im gonna missed him to the max!

And yes, these are the feelings I had been through years back during times where Sufi & Khair starts their preschool. I cried! I cried at the thought that they are far from me. Cried at the thoughts that they have almost entered independent world. I hate this feelings but I cant let my heart rules my head.
These are the precious moments I have to cherish. These are the moments I let them be independent but still bond freely with their parents.

Furqan. Mummy is going to be with you thou far, its gonna be just you & me.... Clenched in our 'Mother & Child' thoughts.

I saw my late paternal grandma.

Today dream was a very sad ones. In fact, it touches my heart deeply that I knew I cried sadly in my dream. Its has been only few months that she left this world, without me having the chance to meet her for the final time. Bad-blood ran through until the day she left us. Its a choice as not to offend anyone at home.
I have been silly as not to choose a choice that I will never regret in my whole life, no doubt I knew she will never hold any grudges against me - her granddaughter.

I missed her. I missed her terribly. I have been thinking non-stop about her from day 1 that she left us. Until, last night. I saw her coming to me, seat beside me and put her hands on my shoulder looking across the view that I am facing to. The warmth of her hands can really be felt onto my skin. I missed that moment. She didn't say anything, she just sat and giving me the assurance that everything will be fine.

I felt assured infact, never been that assured before. I hope to see her again.

The white holiday crawl in.

Why do I call it white? Is when my children start comparing the south pole and north pole to be a white month for December. Which means, snow all over the other part of the world, while its very cold, windy here in Singapore. We felt extra blessed due to our house location, facing the expressway that is facing the Punggol sea and not forgetting the wide open field across our flat and the river park across the streets conecting to the sea.

As much as they wanted to be in the snow, I told them that they are blessed with happiness and almost the 100% good things in life while others are not so fortunate. Why the sudden urged to explain? Not really, as I always try to make them realised of the less unfortunate ones across the globes on every and each fectivals. How lucky they are, to have family and friends to celebrate Eid, New Year, Chinese New Year and even the happy occassion of Xmas. These are the few festivals we get to enjoy as we are in a multi racial country.

Well, nevertheless apart from all this festives, the school holidays has been a fruitful event for my children. They had a break in November away from all academic revisions. All they do was play and sleep, read and watch lots of dvds and also cartoons. And now, December has started with slowly revisions interactively engaged and the best part, they participated in Legos competition held by Anchorvale Community Club just across our flat! Their first time! And I must admit, they are so abstract in their own world. Although they did not win any prize, they are more than happy to try out something challenging during this holidays.

And they are looking forward to their short trip to Malaysia on Xmas. I am too.

xx0 0 xx
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We didn't make it...

How I wish I can just rant it here! Arrghh! We have accepted that its not easy and never will it be. But the reply reason was so ridiculous. And not to mentioned we have spend an amount, but the reply is unacceptable. How on earth do you justify working experience of 8years to 12 months of capacity? Is it 12mths of working experience is vital while 8years of experience is too much?

Anyway, we have tried and we have done our very best. We will try other plans in order to make our dreams realised into a real situation. Theres always a reason behind every result and there always a better option for a non-successful ones... We are positive!

All the best to us!

Raihan & Jannah's Wedding

Thank God, everything goes well for their wedding. We as a host felt thrilled and overwhelmed that everything goes as planned and we believed that we have tried our very best a first time host for a big event!

Relatives from my MIL maternal side came over all the way from Klang, KL - Malaysia. A few families indeed. And my families and my sisters who came to add merry to the happy occassion.
For now, all that we hope & prayed for is for them to be happy and may Jannah recover steadily from her cancer condition. She is one strong lady and may Allah blessed them both with happiness and perseverance.

You can catch a glimpse of their wedding pictures on my facebook albums.

And thank you all for helping us directly or indirectly in making the wedding a happy, success one.

Khair's Year-End Participation @ Concorde Hotel.

Earlier today was my younger's son participation in his school graduation concert for his K2 friends. This year the concert was held at the Concorde Hotel, Orchard Road - Singapore. This is the first time for us to step in this hotel. There was a tea-reception for all guest.

The theme and the performance in line was all a great effort put together by the school, teachers and students. Its a great day for us too.
The food was tasty, especially the fried noodles. and cakes and the chicken! Well, graved!

Apart from all that, the door-gift was a generous lot! My kids simply love the lunch boxes from Gym Kidz and Baby Furqan had a great time dancing away at the foot of the stage when Khair was performing his Hip-Hop Dance!

We are looking forward for next year graduation concert where this time, Khair's turn to graduate from preschool... Soon...

Khair with his hip-hop costume...

Selamat Hari Raya Haji.

Its Hari Raya Haji again! Phewww! Its just a few days ago, the house is fille dwith guests for the wedding and we are taking the chance not to do up the house especially since the master bedroom has been beautify with the past weddings deco. A simple one thou, yet its fulfilling as I get to sew the curtains and the side tables round-runner!

Well, for this year, my parents did their ''Korban'' (sacrificial of the goat) in Indonesia, while as normal, my parents-in-law did theirs locally in the nearby mosque.

Last night, we managed to drove the kids to a nearby mosque to take a glimpse of the goats before the Korban takes place.... Its a good experience for them, seeing alive goats which you will never get to see here in the Singapore City!

Hmmmm... I am hoping to do a ''korban'' for the kids soon. I really hope the plan will have a kick-start next year. Maybe a child first and so on.
Ok, got to leave soon... Heading to my parents house and then to Nenek house for more feast!!

Taa...

Brownie the bunny...

Here it goes, Brownie is new to the family. He is 2yrs old the day Candy gave him up for us to adopt. We grew to have this special bonding with him. Well, I addressed myself like how the kids addressed me - Mummy. Brownie is so adorable, grew to love him just like how Sufi, Khair & Furqan bonded with me...

 Brownie has started to familiarise with our home, he wanders around happily. Adorable!

Preparation for the Big Day!

All is well. We prayed hard for this day to come... Its just 3days more and we will have the event that we have been waiting for! Yes, its going to be held at our humble crib. We really hope that we will be at our very best as a first time host.

We have been busy for the last few days and spring-cleaning, painting the Big Day room, well just for display thou. And lots of fun and happiness filled in.

I really felt that, this is how our parents used to feel years ago when they hosted one of their siblings wedding. Yes, its the wedding of Rid's only younger brother - Raihan, to be wed to Jannah. Both a Primary school teacher, soft spoken and loved by all. We love them. And here we are helping them at our very best for their wedding event. Its full of miracles. All the best to them and of course US on our first attempt.

Chat again! Soon...

November Rain or Haze?

November has drove in, the rain has started to pour in and the haze is becoming lesser & lesser. We hope so. Its ridiculous and madness on how irresponsible some people may be which makes others pay for their mistakes indirectly. And thinking of all the children suffocated, suffered... Its emotionally wreakage for some.

Anyway, November not alone bringin in together the natural disasters, it has internal politics going on within kinship too. Where kindness is nowhere near to kinship which has been nurtured for years. I reminded myself to make sure I nurtured my kids with love, respect and self-integrity in themselves. And, I have to practise it too in order for them to enforce it on themselves with dignity. We hope for the best, we try to be a good role model for their future...

I hope and pray, the coming days will be a better day than ever.

Tragic Halloween

We saw pumpkins everywhere, kids and adults in costumes... Well, we did have a blast, a white cape all over the house while watching Harry Potter!

Halloween tragic in Singapore neighbourhood malls? Its not really a tragic for us, but it is for a student who died of multiple stabs during Halloween Day last night. He dragged his wounded body all the way to the entrance of Sakura Buffet. We felt sad, as we believe its gonna be a teenage, and was wondering who can it be?

We were heading for United Square to collect my winning Wetbag by http://www.bumwear.com/ and to IKEA to buy some items for Raihan's wedding which will be held at our house, then headed to E!Hub at Pasir Ris, was thinking of having dinner at Sakura Buffet. The restaurant was full and we were glad that we did not dine there as the waitress was very rude. She suggested that we seat on the floor if we request for her if she can fit us in.

And off we went looking for other diners and we were glad that we had our dinner at Hei Sushi! The kids love it to be there again. Outside the restaurant, we can still see the trail of blood and police everywhere. We hope all is fine.

Birthdays for Love

As he aged further, I see him aging wisely and handsomely. Yes, that is how I described my husband. Well, not that he is so old, at 31yrs old, I see wisdom crawling in and he has achieved much in maintaining, creating a cozy, safe environment for us family. Especially when the kids simply adores him, that is the best thing that I want my kids to feel, looking forward every minute to meet him and play.

Early this week, we went over to Woodlands, mum cooked a simple dish and we say a few prayers for hubby. Its a suprised. Few days later, we had a small birthday cake at Rid's parents house and we ate heartily the simply small birthday cake that I suprised him with. As normal, a chocolate cake from our all time favourite bakery - Primadeli. A chocolate fudge will be delicious.. ahhh..

Happy Birthday my love. May more good things be with you. Insya Allah. Amin.

Recent updates...

Its already October. Its my brother's birthday. We have already bought him a biker shirt from Nizam's new brick & mortar store for bikers accessories & dressing. Quite a good deal.

Apart from that, we did went to Melaka for final Eidulfitri's celebration visiting my hubby's maternal's families there. The kids had fun. It was a short getaway with hubby's maternal grandma(Nenek). All went well. They enjoyed the morning walk,the nature, the plants... the village and best of all was the 'perigi' (well) bath! Coolness!

Its great that we went over the last weekend, especially when the year-end exams period are coming next week and my grand-uncle's wedding will also take place next weekend. My schedule are also full for http://www.mymumsworld.com/ and also the cloth diapers re-stocking. New launch for next year is starting soon. Theres lots to do but I have limited time to divide with everything!

And guess, our 8th Wedding Anniversary last mth is being postphoned again til year end during our road-trip? Ahhhh... still planning on the location with daddy. Cameron still?

Well, perhaps. We just love it.

At the same time, we are still hoping & waiting for the application result. Dreams do come true if we try.

We also welcomed Brownie the Bunny to our family! We just adopted Brownie, a 2yr old male rabbit from Candy. So far, we are loving his companion... and the kids are more extra cheerful.
Love to add a female rabbit too... A Melody in mind since we already have Peter Rabbit.

Jalan-jalan Raya...

This year, another great year to celebrate Eidilfitri. As usual, Im not cooking any festive food for the first day. More or less concentrating on dressing the kids, spring-cleaning and just relax.
I am glad, my MIL is very understanding, going to the extent of heping us with the cooking! And yes, the first day at my parent's house was a blast with relatives & food!

This time, we made extra effort in visiting friends & relatives house that we did not managed to do so the past years....We tried.

To all, Eid Mubarak. Have a great holidays!

Ramadhan almost ending..

This year Ramadhan, I really felt that it is short. Partly due to the kids falling sick back to back from last month and along with Furqan who needs constant attention.
I planned to sew the 3 bedrooms curtains for this year Eid, well, I guess I have to put it on hold. With 3 kids in tow, if I want to sew for Eid, I have to do it at least 4months in advance!
I felt that Ramadhan for this year is extra special for me, as I felt more energetic, more fresh and I believe in lots of positive things. Well, putting aside some emotional moments.

And I miss her. I do. If only I was there. I knew things happened for a reason.

August, month of suprises this year!

Lets start off with my younger son's 5th birthday earlier this month. We had birthday goody bags sent over to his kindergarten, and Khair is so overwhelmed that he hugs, kiss and hugs and kisses again for me. Sweety-pie. Forever a baby in our eyes.
He had two days fever a day after his birthday!
And few days later, while we were at his great-grandmother's house, he injured his feet accidentally stepped on a rusted metal, which he ended up with a feet infection. We brought him to the clinic and was given a jab and anti-biotics (we dreaded this!). Alhamdulillah. He recovered well.

And nope. No celebrations this year at our house as what we have been practising the past years. We are giving ways to Baby Furqan till maybe he is about 4 year older. And the same goes to Sufi too. His birthday celebrations stopped too.

Last few days, it was Sufi's birthday. And am glad that he recovered well from his pro-longed fever. After bringing him to the KKH, we found out that Sufi had chest infection and a suprise news, he has minor-thalassemia... Same as me. I was quite worried and sad, feeling a bit low as genetically he had it due to me having it. But, Rid was very assuring that its not serious. He is afterall a very active boy.
The answers to my questions, brownish hair, similarities in a lot of things. Maybe.
I still believe, 8 months of breastfeeding is never enough to fight chest infection or any other respiratory problems but it did help to maintain his thalassemia in an acceptable range.

Rid and myself, accept the challenges that God has bestowed to us. In fact, we should not be complaining for the sickness that the kids had this month. Its not so bad afterall, since they do not easily falls sick on a monthly rate. Its a few months once thing. Still, we will continue with trying our best to help them stay healthy and happy. Mind and body.

And I have to mentioned this still as a remembrance, Sufi did well for his CA2 exams despite him havng fever during that short hours in school. Well done my love!

I guess, its time for me to go back to MyMumsWorld (S) with the Breastfeeding Month and MMW birthday promotions. I am glad that all is well.

I am thankful  & blessed.

The randoms...

Well, July has not much thing happening. The kids getting the hang over for June holidays. Almost daily school work for school, and their weekly swimming lessons ending soon to give way for their Arabic Tuition & Phonics Class for Sufi & Khair respectitively.

Apart from the daily randoms with the kids, I must admit, the financial issues is getting bigger and needed more attention. With 3 kids in tow, high expenses, school expenses and the ever increasing bills... gee... what to do, this is one of the safest place in the global. You pay for good services. No complain but I must admit, the household expenses needs attention as and when deem fit to reschuffle!

  Put aside on financial woes. July is the birthday month for a few of my family members. My brother-in-law, Raihan and my paternal Uncle Asari celebrate the same birthday while daddy celebrate his birthday towards end of July. We did have a buffet at my parents-in-law house and it was tasty. Yet, we do not know what to buy for Raihan....
And we had a family gathering at my parents house, to celebrate daddy's birthday. Yet didnt buy him anything yet.. Ibu cooked 'mee rebus tetelan', which I was craving for it! And my sis bought a Primadeli Choc Fudge birthday cake, our all time favourite! Yummy!

And next month? August? Is a month full of celebration. Its Sufi & Khair birthday month, MyMumsWorld (S) birthday month, and few others family birthdays... And yes, since Ramadhan falls in August this year, its going to be the first time we are skipping the kids birthday party. Just some goody bags & small celebrations will do...

Will be back...

June Holidays over!

Its so fast and yet going through the whole process is such a handful for me, yet enjoyable. I get myself away from working at home for the school holidays just so to pay more attention to my kids and avoiding myself from ferrying them to and fro to or parents house to babysit.

And not forgetting, we did had a blast for Fathers' Day celebration. It was an awesome, happy family gathering. Apart from the summons by Sentosa Parking, we did fine.

Got to go, more to 'undraft', a whole lots of my blogs pending!

LEAVING ON A JETPLANE

~ dreams that has been there, will never be executed with the heart pounding yet not bearing... ~
Cintaridlis...

Leaving on the Jetplane, this is not that we have planned. We planned to leave on an aeroplane which will soar high up in the beautiful sky leaving to our dream destination. Indeed a dream is a dream, although we have faith that we will reach it soon along with lots of obstacles and perseverance.

And there at the hanger, I saw a jetplane meant for us with seated secured. A Jetplane afterall is a private plane and it is not near to the Aeroplane at all. A sign again. Outside facing the hanger is a wide, beautiful green plains still yet cool and breezy. Another part of the plains all ruckus with the after scene of flood and heavy rains. Two worlds apart, yet so magical. People everywhere trying to secure a flight out of the 'two magical plains', and few are helping out the needy and I am one of them who gets down the Jetplane to help my Uncle Safuan clearing his luggages. Another sign which I cant ignored. But at the back of my mind, I am thinking of Rid. His dream. Our dream.
   And there, at the rangers door, stood my paternal Uncle Muri. He seems lost in his gaze, looking lost in his eyes facing the beautiful green plains. Another sign for me that we have to stay.
   I saw Deen, my classmate from high school. He told me he is heading for Australia, but have not decided to which part of the country. He is still waiting for a plane ticket.
Right after I spoke to a few people that I knew, I suddenly saw the Jetplane that I am supposed to board taking off with my 3 children in it leaving me shocked and dumb. My seat was given to someone who needs it more than I do eventhough I have bought a ticket for my seat. Another sign for me.

Is it meant just for our children? All the hardwork and hardships that we went through is meant for our children and we have a choice to go ahead with our plans based on the Jetplane, a private plane is meant as an individual choice. But its a choice, and a decision that will affect everyone whom we called family and friends.

We planned for the future, but it is not up to us at the end of the finished dreams. To execute it, courage is needed. Our dream has yet to be fulfill.

~ A dream will always stay as a dream,
 if you never want to dream ~
Cintaridlis