Bonding

The pasts few days, since the kids had fever I was busy with nursing Sufi, then followed by Khair & Furqan had fever at the same time. While Sufi has recovered just before the two younger brother fall sick. I felt so handicapped and feeling lucky as my Rid was with me helping me out with boys.

When I looked at them lying on bed, I see the bonding between them. It looks stronger.

Then the strike 2am, Baby Furqan refused my breast totally! I was shocked but I thought it might be becaus eof the fever he had. But NO. He refused the breast for over 12hours and only drinking sip of plain water. And the pedeatrician recommended to express milk & cup-feed him, which i totally forget about it.

Above all, what I am trying to say here is, I felt sad. God is testing me on this bonding isssues. I have been complaining of bodyache due to nights feed, lethargic, tired and no time to do a lot of things when paying full attention to the boys & breastfeeding Furqan. Then suddenly due to the throat viral, he refuse dmy breast totally.

I continued with the milk expressing. I felt empty deep in my heart. The bonding is not the same. I am afraid of him refusing the breast permanently

After two solid days of expressing milk & drinking from the water bottle, just two hours ago... He find his way back to my breast. I cried feeling happy. I am so happy.

Thank God. Alhamdulillah. I understand more on bonding. Bonds. Its a strong feeling.