Decisions.

When you decided to choose a partner, it means you have decided to stay together forever... and its a choice for both. Everything comes in pairs. 
And you need to make it works along with the chronicles of journey, with bitter sweet riding in the picture of perfection.
I am contented, thankful and blessed that I have found my other half in the most beautiful and mystical ways that GOD has planned for me.


My life, my world has been enchanted with many events, which comes in the forms of many subjects.  And I believed I am one of the charmed ones, not in a sexually inclination - but in my own powers that was bestowed to me, to whom only few will understand. Sometimes, I felt that my family will understand especially when they have been in many mystical events, beautifully arranged by the Creator itself, but my doubt is real. They do not to one extent where I feel that I am only in my own world. Until, one day, one moment, one encountered - I met my other half after years of my failure in seeking love.
Someone, who is out of the expected came into the unexpected moment just filled in the empty jug filled with mixed fruity blended juices. Bitter and sweet, consistently staying, pushing positively, coached, cared, loved and never want to let go of my decisions. My decisions in accepting the whole of ME.


For once after my 30 years of breathing, I have fully accepted that I am never crazy. I am never insane. But I lack the courage to explain and I do not deserved to even shared or obliged to explained my prowess of pictures that I saw in my dreams. My other half has decided to believe, guided and explored the beautiful dreams mystically played every now and then in my mind. I can always visual it, as it never leave my mind. The mindset is a powerful tools that I can never prove the existence of it, but I can convinced it with the events that came after. Has it really been there nor never, its up to me to decide if I ever wanted to let it stays. But it happened. My other half has decided that I should let it stay, to follow up on the beautiful events that will happen next. 


Decisions are not something that one can choose, but ones which can be finalized. And it visited you in many ways.


Marlini Ridlis Ismail

Furqan starts his Playgroup.

Today is the first day that Furqan our youngest son will start his first session of Playgroup. An early start for all my kids, Furqan at 20mths enters his preschool days at Al-Amin Preschool, same as his older brothers. This year, he will have an advantage, as Khair is still in K2.

As much as I want hime to be independent, make more friends and let him have his play time among his peers, my feelings of leaving him there eludes with a lot of anxiety. I will miss him every seconds as now even when he is asleep and I cant imagine when my boobs starts to engorge as a sign that he needs me. I am sure he will start crying the moment he step up the school van. Well, since Khair starts school only on Thursday, I cant imagine on how Furqan will cope today. Eventhough, we will be visiting him at school but not visibly showing signs of us.

I cant help but start to feel sad, sad at the thought that he will start to make new friends, sad at the thought that I will have my own 'ME' time but deep inside, Im gonna missed him to the max!

And yes, these are the feelings I had been through years back during times where Sufi & Khair starts their preschool. I cried! I cried at the thought that they are far from me. Cried at the thoughts that they have almost entered independent world. I hate this feelings but I cant let my heart rules my head.
These are the precious moments I have to cherish. These are the moments I let them be independent but still bond freely with their parents.

Furqan. Mummy is going to be with you thou far, its gonna be just you & me.... Clenched in our 'Mother & Child' thoughts.