I saw my late paternal grandma.

Today dream was a very sad ones. In fact, it touches my heart deeply that I knew I cried sadly in my dream. Its has been only few months that she left this world, without me having the chance to meet her for the final time. Bad-blood ran through until the day she left us. Its a choice as not to offend anyone at home.
I have been silly as not to choose a choice that I will never regret in my whole life, no doubt I knew she will never hold any grudges against me - her granddaughter.

I missed her. I missed her terribly. I have been thinking non-stop about her from day 1 that she left us. Until, last night. I saw her coming to me, seat beside me and put her hands on my shoulder looking across the view that I am facing to. The warmth of her hands can really be felt onto my skin. I missed that moment. She didn't say anything, she just sat and giving me the assurance that everything will be fine.

I felt assured infact, never been that assured before. I hope to see her again.

The white holiday crawl in.

Why do I call it white? Is when my children start comparing the south pole and north pole to be a white month for December. Which means, snow all over the other part of the world, while its very cold, windy here in Singapore. We felt extra blessed due to our house location, facing the expressway that is facing the Punggol sea and not forgetting the wide open field across our flat and the river park across the streets conecting to the sea.

As much as they wanted to be in the snow, I told them that they are blessed with happiness and almost the 100% good things in life while others are not so fortunate. Why the sudden urged to explain? Not really, as I always try to make them realised of the less unfortunate ones across the globes on every and each fectivals. How lucky they are, to have family and friends to celebrate Eid, New Year, Chinese New Year and even the happy occassion of Xmas. These are the few festivals we get to enjoy as we are in a multi racial country.

Well, nevertheless apart from all this festives, the school holidays has been a fruitful event for my children. They had a break in November away from all academic revisions. All they do was play and sleep, read and watch lots of dvds and also cartoons. And now, December has started with slowly revisions interactively engaged and the best part, they participated in Legos competition held by Anchorvale Community Club just across our flat! Their first time! And I must admit, they are so abstract in their own world. Although they did not win any prize, they are more than happy to try out something challenging during this holidays.

And they are looking forward to their short trip to Malaysia on Xmas. I am too.

xx0 0 xx
  ____

We didn't make it...

How I wish I can just rant it here! Arrghh! We have accepted that its not easy and never will it be. But the reply reason was so ridiculous. And not to mentioned we have spend an amount, but the reply is unacceptable. How on earth do you justify working experience of 8years to 12 months of capacity? Is it 12mths of working experience is vital while 8years of experience is too much?

Anyway, we have tried and we have done our very best. We will try other plans in order to make our dreams realised into a real situation. Theres always a reason behind every result and there always a better option for a non-successful ones... We are positive!

All the best to us!

Raihan & Jannah's Wedding

Thank God, everything goes well for their wedding. We as a host felt thrilled and overwhelmed that everything goes as planned and we believed that we have tried our very best a first time host for a big event!

Relatives from my MIL maternal side came over all the way from Klang, KL - Malaysia. A few families indeed. And my families and my sisters who came to add merry to the happy occassion.
For now, all that we hope & prayed for is for them to be happy and may Jannah recover steadily from her cancer condition. She is one strong lady and may Allah blessed them both with happiness and perseverance.

You can catch a glimpse of their wedding pictures on my facebook albums.

And thank you all for helping us directly or indirectly in making the wedding a happy, success one.

Khair's Year-End Participation @ Concorde Hotel.

Earlier today was my younger's son participation in his school graduation concert for his K2 friends. This year the concert was held at the Concorde Hotel, Orchard Road - Singapore. This is the first time for us to step in this hotel. There was a tea-reception for all guest.

The theme and the performance in line was all a great effort put together by the school, teachers and students. Its a great day for us too.
The food was tasty, especially the fried noodles. and cakes and the chicken! Well, graved!

Apart from all that, the door-gift was a generous lot! My kids simply love the lunch boxes from Gym Kidz and Baby Furqan had a great time dancing away at the foot of the stage when Khair was performing his Hip-Hop Dance!

We are looking forward for next year graduation concert where this time, Khair's turn to graduate from preschool... Soon...

Khair with his hip-hop costume...

Selamat Hari Raya Haji.

Its Hari Raya Haji again! Phewww! Its just a few days ago, the house is fille dwith guests for the wedding and we are taking the chance not to do up the house especially since the master bedroom has been beautify with the past weddings deco. A simple one thou, yet its fulfilling as I get to sew the curtains and the side tables round-runner!

Well, for this year, my parents did their ''Korban'' (sacrificial of the goat) in Indonesia, while as normal, my parents-in-law did theirs locally in the nearby mosque.

Last night, we managed to drove the kids to a nearby mosque to take a glimpse of the goats before the Korban takes place.... Its a good experience for them, seeing alive goats which you will never get to see here in the Singapore City!

Hmmmm... I am hoping to do a ''korban'' for the kids soon. I really hope the plan will have a kick-start next year. Maybe a child first and so on.
Ok, got to leave soon... Heading to my parents house and then to Nenek house for more feast!!

Taa...

Brownie the bunny...

Here it goes, Brownie is new to the family. He is 2yrs old the day Candy gave him up for us to adopt. We grew to have this special bonding with him. Well, I addressed myself like how the kids addressed me - Mummy. Brownie is so adorable, grew to love him just like how Sufi, Khair & Furqan bonded with me...

 Brownie has started to familiarise with our home, he wanders around happily. Adorable!

Preparation for the Big Day!

All is well. We prayed hard for this day to come... Its just 3days more and we will have the event that we have been waiting for! Yes, its going to be held at our humble crib. We really hope that we will be at our very best as a first time host.

We have been busy for the last few days and spring-cleaning, painting the Big Day room, well just for display thou. And lots of fun and happiness filled in.

I really felt that, this is how our parents used to feel years ago when they hosted one of their siblings wedding. Yes, its the wedding of Rid's only younger brother - Raihan, to be wed to Jannah. Both a Primary school teacher, soft spoken and loved by all. We love them. And here we are helping them at our very best for their wedding event. Its full of miracles. All the best to them and of course US on our first attempt.

Chat again! Soon...

November Rain or Haze?

November has drove in, the rain has started to pour in and the haze is becoming lesser & lesser. We hope so. Its ridiculous and madness on how irresponsible some people may be which makes others pay for their mistakes indirectly. And thinking of all the children suffocated, suffered... Its emotionally wreakage for some.

Anyway, November not alone bringin in together the natural disasters, it has internal politics going on within kinship too. Where kindness is nowhere near to kinship which has been nurtured for years. I reminded myself to make sure I nurtured my kids with love, respect and self-integrity in themselves. And, I have to practise it too in order for them to enforce it on themselves with dignity. We hope for the best, we try to be a good role model for their future...

I hope and pray, the coming days will be a better day than ever.

Tragic Halloween

We saw pumpkins everywhere, kids and adults in costumes... Well, we did have a blast, a white cape all over the house while watching Harry Potter!

Halloween tragic in Singapore neighbourhood malls? Its not really a tragic for us, but it is for a student who died of multiple stabs during Halloween Day last night. He dragged his wounded body all the way to the entrance of Sakura Buffet. We felt sad, as we believe its gonna be a teenage, and was wondering who can it be?

We were heading for United Square to collect my winning Wetbag by http://www.bumwear.com/ and to IKEA to buy some items for Raihan's wedding which will be held at our house, then headed to E!Hub at Pasir Ris, was thinking of having dinner at Sakura Buffet. The restaurant was full and we were glad that we did not dine there as the waitress was very rude. She suggested that we seat on the floor if we request for her if she can fit us in.

And off we went looking for other diners and we were glad that we had our dinner at Hei Sushi! The kids love it to be there again. Outside the restaurant, we can still see the trail of blood and police everywhere. We hope all is fine.

Birthdays for Love

As he aged further, I see him aging wisely and handsomely. Yes, that is how I described my husband. Well, not that he is so old, at 31yrs old, I see wisdom crawling in and he has achieved much in maintaining, creating a cozy, safe environment for us family. Especially when the kids simply adores him, that is the best thing that I want my kids to feel, looking forward every minute to meet him and play.

Early this week, we went over to Woodlands, mum cooked a simple dish and we say a few prayers for hubby. Its a suprised. Few days later, we had a small birthday cake at Rid's parents house and we ate heartily the simply small birthday cake that I suprised him with. As normal, a chocolate cake from our all time favourite bakery - Primadeli. A chocolate fudge will be delicious.. ahhh..

Happy Birthday my love. May more good things be with you. Insya Allah. Amin.

Recent updates...

Its already October. Its my brother's birthday. We have already bought him a biker shirt from Nizam's new brick & mortar store for bikers accessories & dressing. Quite a good deal.

Apart from that, we did went to Melaka for final Eidulfitri's celebration visiting my hubby's maternal's families there. The kids had fun. It was a short getaway with hubby's maternal grandma(Nenek). All went well. They enjoyed the morning walk,the nature, the plants... the village and best of all was the 'perigi' (well) bath! Coolness!

Its great that we went over the last weekend, especially when the year-end exams period are coming next week and my grand-uncle's wedding will also take place next weekend. My schedule are also full for http://www.mymumsworld.com/ and also the cloth diapers re-stocking. New launch for next year is starting soon. Theres lots to do but I have limited time to divide with everything!

And guess, our 8th Wedding Anniversary last mth is being postphoned again til year end during our road-trip? Ahhhh... still planning on the location with daddy. Cameron still?

Well, perhaps. We just love it.

At the same time, we are still hoping & waiting for the application result. Dreams do come true if we try.

We also welcomed Brownie the Bunny to our family! We just adopted Brownie, a 2yr old male rabbit from Candy. So far, we are loving his companion... and the kids are more extra cheerful.
Love to add a female rabbit too... A Melody in mind since we already have Peter Rabbit.

Jalan-jalan Raya...

This year, another great year to celebrate Eidilfitri. As usual, Im not cooking any festive food for the first day. More or less concentrating on dressing the kids, spring-cleaning and just relax.
I am glad, my MIL is very understanding, going to the extent of heping us with the cooking! And yes, the first day at my parent's house was a blast with relatives & food!

This time, we made extra effort in visiting friends & relatives house that we did not managed to do so the past years....We tried.

To all, Eid Mubarak. Have a great holidays!

Ramadhan almost ending..

This year Ramadhan, I really felt that it is short. Partly due to the kids falling sick back to back from last month and along with Furqan who needs constant attention.
I planned to sew the 3 bedrooms curtains for this year Eid, well, I guess I have to put it on hold. With 3 kids in tow, if I want to sew for Eid, I have to do it at least 4months in advance!
I felt that Ramadhan for this year is extra special for me, as I felt more energetic, more fresh and I believe in lots of positive things. Well, putting aside some emotional moments.

And I miss her. I do. If only I was there. I knew things happened for a reason.

August, month of suprises this year!

Lets start off with my younger son's 5th birthday earlier this month. We had birthday goody bags sent over to his kindergarten, and Khair is so overwhelmed that he hugs, kiss and hugs and kisses again for me. Sweety-pie. Forever a baby in our eyes.
He had two days fever a day after his birthday!
And few days later, while we were at his great-grandmother's house, he injured his feet accidentally stepped on a rusted metal, which he ended up with a feet infection. We brought him to the clinic and was given a jab and anti-biotics (we dreaded this!). Alhamdulillah. He recovered well.

And nope. No celebrations this year at our house as what we have been practising the past years. We are giving ways to Baby Furqan till maybe he is about 4 year older. And the same goes to Sufi too. His birthday celebrations stopped too.

Last few days, it was Sufi's birthday. And am glad that he recovered well from his pro-longed fever. After bringing him to the KKH, we found out that Sufi had chest infection and a suprise news, he has minor-thalassemia... Same as me. I was quite worried and sad, feeling a bit low as genetically he had it due to me having it. But, Rid was very assuring that its not serious. He is afterall a very active boy.
The answers to my questions, brownish hair, similarities in a lot of things. Maybe.
I still believe, 8 months of breastfeeding is never enough to fight chest infection or any other respiratory problems but it did help to maintain his thalassemia in an acceptable range.

Rid and myself, accept the challenges that God has bestowed to us. In fact, we should not be complaining for the sickness that the kids had this month. Its not so bad afterall, since they do not easily falls sick on a monthly rate. Its a few months once thing. Still, we will continue with trying our best to help them stay healthy and happy. Mind and body.

And I have to mentioned this still as a remembrance, Sufi did well for his CA2 exams despite him havng fever during that short hours in school. Well done my love!

I guess, its time for me to go back to MyMumsWorld (S) with the Breastfeeding Month and MMW birthday promotions. I am glad that all is well.

I am thankful  & blessed.

The randoms...

Well, July has not much thing happening. The kids getting the hang over for June holidays. Almost daily school work for school, and their weekly swimming lessons ending soon to give way for their Arabic Tuition & Phonics Class for Sufi & Khair respectitively.

Apart from the daily randoms with the kids, I must admit, the financial issues is getting bigger and needed more attention. With 3 kids in tow, high expenses, school expenses and the ever increasing bills... gee... what to do, this is one of the safest place in the global. You pay for good services. No complain but I must admit, the household expenses needs attention as and when deem fit to reschuffle!

  Put aside on financial woes. July is the birthday month for a few of my family members. My brother-in-law, Raihan and my paternal Uncle Asari celebrate the same birthday while daddy celebrate his birthday towards end of July. We did have a buffet at my parents-in-law house and it was tasty. Yet, we do not know what to buy for Raihan....
And we had a family gathering at my parents house, to celebrate daddy's birthday. Yet didnt buy him anything yet.. Ibu cooked 'mee rebus tetelan', which I was craving for it! And my sis bought a Primadeli Choc Fudge birthday cake, our all time favourite! Yummy!

And next month? August? Is a month full of celebration. Its Sufi & Khair birthday month, MyMumsWorld (S) birthday month, and few others family birthdays... And yes, since Ramadhan falls in August this year, its going to be the first time we are skipping the kids birthday party. Just some goody bags & small celebrations will do...

Will be back...

June Holidays over!

Its so fast and yet going through the whole process is such a handful for me, yet enjoyable. I get myself away from working at home for the school holidays just so to pay more attention to my kids and avoiding myself from ferrying them to and fro to or parents house to babysit.

And not forgetting, we did had a blast for Fathers' Day celebration. It was an awesome, happy family gathering. Apart from the summons by Sentosa Parking, we did fine.

Got to go, more to 'undraft', a whole lots of my blogs pending!

LEAVING ON A JETPLANE

~ dreams that has been there, will never be executed with the heart pounding yet not bearing... ~
Cintaridlis...

Leaving on the Jetplane, this is not that we have planned. We planned to leave on an aeroplane which will soar high up in the beautiful sky leaving to our dream destination. Indeed a dream is a dream, although we have faith that we will reach it soon along with lots of obstacles and perseverance.

And there at the hanger, I saw a jetplane meant for us with seated secured. A Jetplane afterall is a private plane and it is not near to the Aeroplane at all. A sign again. Outside facing the hanger is a wide, beautiful green plains still yet cool and breezy. Another part of the plains all ruckus with the after scene of flood and heavy rains. Two worlds apart, yet so magical. People everywhere trying to secure a flight out of the 'two magical plains', and few are helping out the needy and I am one of them who gets down the Jetplane to help my Uncle Safuan clearing his luggages. Another sign which I cant ignored. But at the back of my mind, I am thinking of Rid. His dream. Our dream.
   And there, at the rangers door, stood my paternal Uncle Muri. He seems lost in his gaze, looking lost in his eyes facing the beautiful green plains. Another sign for me that we have to stay.
   I saw Deen, my classmate from high school. He told me he is heading for Australia, but have not decided to which part of the country. He is still waiting for a plane ticket.
Right after I spoke to a few people that I knew, I suddenly saw the Jetplane that I am supposed to board taking off with my 3 children in it leaving me shocked and dumb. My seat was given to someone who needs it more than I do eventhough I have bought a ticket for my seat. Another sign for me.

Is it meant just for our children? All the hardwork and hardships that we went through is meant for our children and we have a choice to go ahead with our plans based on the Jetplane, a private plane is meant as an individual choice. But its a choice, and a decision that will affect everyone whom we called family and friends.

We planned for the future, but it is not up to us at the end of the finished dreams. To execute it, courage is needed. Our dream has yet to be fulfill.

~ A dream will always stay as a dream,
 if you never want to dream ~
Cintaridlis

June School Holidays

June School Holidays has already kicked in. As usual, I will be working lesser on projects and limited the WAHM-ing to few times a week or few hours.
The house as i have forseen will be in a ruckus, riot almost 24/7 and this will include the tiny-weeny Baby Fur who has started to explore more confidently around the house.

We have a few things in mind for the kids. It has to be fun, interactively engaged and at the same time not forgetting revision is in the picture. Planning for 3-4days on these for 3hrs daily within intervals. While we hope to cover as much field-trips for the boys. I will come back to updates, Red will considered as done!

• Art & Craft
• Baking Donuts
• Prepare Sandwich
• Mini Gardening
• Cycling
• Swimming
• Scrapbooking
• Revision on Academics
• Revision on Ukhrawi
• Field Trips (Ikea)
• Visit Botanical Garden / Farms / Parks
• Sleepovers

Voila!! We managed to complete 98% of our itinery!! Well done boys!

Supper.

Our eldest boys are off to my mum's house. Sara came over to fetch them and Khair start to asking for me the moment he step out of the house! How adorable!

Well, back to our supper earlier. We decided to settle for Cheesecake from McCafe, Hot Fudge Sundees and a small double cheesburger meal.

I must admit that I am never tired of Cheesecake from wherever it came from. I love the availability of Cheesecake from McCafe as it is within reach of 10mins walk from my house. And I find the Cheesecake from McCafe is not so sweet, texture is fine, apart from smoothy feeling once you taste it. And also, its thickness is just fine. Normally I am served with just plain Cheesecake, but today the Cashier add on chocolate syrup and its free of charge! I must say the price is affordable.

Khair's Fairy Tale Party

Theme: Fairy Tale

Venue: Al-Amin Preschool

When: Mid Term

Role: Prince Khair of Anchorvale Kingdom

Props: Personalised Crown & Cape from his almost done quilt made/sew with Love by Mummy.

Rate: 5 Loves

Baby Furqan

One year has passed by very fast. I still remembered well last 12 months, I am still in confinement and the riots started to kick in with 3 kids during the June holiday! But I still feel happy and contented. The feeling is so overwhelmed with a mix feelings.

So much I have been rantings and ramblings about the oldest two boys, yet so little have been mentioned about Baby fur, thou his milestone is steadily healthy and constant.

Getting pregnant with Furqan was a breeze, I must admit all the times. I was very much independent, without Rid to get around most times. And caring for the oldest two kids when Rid is not at home during the night time. I can't put aside the feeling that I am lonely without him during most nights but I am lucky as I felt protected by my two oldest heroes tucking in with me most days. And of course my work online kept me occupied so the loneliness is out of my dictionary. Oh no! Not that anything about Rid is not in the family picture, he is around most time too, except for certain night times where he has other work to do. And I believe due to this independency period, at the same time Baby Fur has practised well inside my womb! He seems to be very independent, moving around the house without assistance thou I glued my eyes on him almost 24/7 to avoid house injuries.

Baby Furqan has his 1st tooth when he is almost 2.5mths which is the fastest among my older two kids. And it didnt stop there, his teeth keep on growing and growing one after another. It seems so fast that we were abit taken aback by the suprise. He seems to explore on things faster. Maybe as he moves around the house and watch how his elder brothers do things. He even knew how to hold a crayon or pencil properly and scribble on a paper!

And, Baby Furqan do not cry unnecessarily. Period. Its the best that we can ask for. Well, experience do come in handy, wouldn't it?

Touch 13mths soon, Baby Furqan has reached his newest milestone of walking independently around the house. Well, he still crawls to get something fast, but he is such a cutety pie when he crawl. Looking at him, really reminded me of Sufi and Khair.

Baby Furqan is 4-in-1... Rid+Sufi+Khair+Furqan.

Im listening to a webinar!

This is the first time I am listening to a webinar session by Suria Mohd. I have been putting it off for quite some time. And I really need to listen to it, i heard that it is so good.

It is really good. Suria talked about herself, talk about how she started to be a teacher. How she was rejected twice when she applied for NIE with the fact her results was acceptable. Suria has a passion to teach, to teach in a different way! She inspired me! And the way she execute her ideas & passion into successful business. I love it.

Listening to her, I am reminded of my passion for teaching & inspire too when I was young. haha. something that i never revealed before. But I know that I am not good at my grades totally! I only have passion and the ability to teach preschool! Thanks to my so called not so diligent in school that time. And I love to teach interactively, maybe not a teacher but I can be one of the future Accelerated Trainer/Presenter?! hah! Bingo!

Got to go, I want to listen to it one more time and do some wake up call!!

10th years Courtship Anniversary

It has reach almost  the peak of our relationship. 10th years of togetherness, gng through thick and thin. Bitter and sweet as sugar. We did not expect it can last till this long thou we prayed hard that the love will last till the end of our lives. And we felt thankful and blessed with the chance of tying the knot together and having three active, healthy princes. Yes! 3 boys in a row and pampering their mother to the max!

So we had dinner at our favourite spot, Pattaya Garden for Thai Food Cuisine. Its been years since we kept on visiting it nonetheless. It has tasty delicacies such as their top tom-yam seafood and their salad.

We hope for more blissful to come our way and be loving ever...

Watermelon juice prepared by Love

We love this! Its deliciously prepared by Rid with honey. A jug full of it, healthy choice for our afternoon tea-break! Thank you Love.

Mid Year Exams

This is the first time for us to go through an experience of our children having exams. Since Sufi started his primary education, he has started to have lots of class test which are meant as a preparation for him to sit for a more important examination. So far, as I did mentioned before we do not intend to sent him for any tution class till maybe when he is at primary 3 onwards if need be. Apart from we coach him ourselves for now, my brother-in-law mentioned that it is not necessary unless the child is having poor grades or poor respond totally. This is to also to avoid lesser stress in the child daily lifestyle thus he can have a more better rooms of expressing himself or feel more relax.

Nevertheless, we still sent him for Arabic tuition because neither one of us can converse fluently. And only Rid can coach him basically.

So I felt that the roles of a parent changed once your child start primary school. It is not the normal coaching or interactive teaching but it involves every aspect of the primary education. And not to mentioned the time mangament that we need to handle very well, otherwise, the child will feel exhausted and we too will get frustrated. So, the education system is so much different now, apart from consistency in the learning process the child needs guidance and moral support. This is something Rid and I try to put in extra effort on achieving maximum results but with much love emphasised.

I also want to share this, my brother-in-law once told us that his teacher at his university told him not to eat chicken during the exams period. I forget exactly how he explained but remembered clearly that chicken slows the memorising skills. Meaning you will have difficulty or finds it hard to absorbed most that you read. And my mother-in-law mentioned that chicken makes you sleepy if you consume too much of it. It might be true as I tried and realised that it has a great impact not only on my kids but on ME.
Whatever methodology, ways, advise that we received or tried, we hope that it works well and blend well into our parenting style and also to ensure that Sufi is comfortable with it. This is our first time and lets see the outcome soon.

All the best Sufi.

Baby Furqan 1st Birthday + Mothers Day gathering

Month of May will be busier every year now. We used to just celebrate Mothers Day & our courtship anniversary but now its going to be birthday celebration too for Furqan.

He turns 1yr old this week and we had a great celebration among loved ones. Since its the same week for Mothers Day, we decided to throw in the mood! Lots of goody bags, food, Barney Birthday Cake and Mothers Day mini-cupcakes. Its tasty!

Baby Furqan enjoyed it so much, he is not cranky nor grouchy at all thou he just got so agitated at me each time he tried to whack his birthday cake! Sooo adorable! We love you baby!

**full birthday pics can be viewed from my FB account...

We had this

Its a simple fare. Today I had two projects done and feeling tired and will skipped the process of cooking lunch and dinner. so we end up with plain rice, an egg and soya sauce for our pre-dinner meals! Its delicious! And most important, the kids love it so much that they asked for more & more eggs!

Now we are all waiting for Rid to buy dinner for us - Nasi Briyani! Our favourite!

Sofa cover done!

This is our all time favourite sofa. We bought it in year 2002 when we just moved in into our new house, and still staying here over the years. Its our first sofa ever and we still love it. The cushion is still comfy to our suprise! We bought it from Ikea and it cost us S$299 only! Its a miniature for only the two of us and does not takes up a lot of space. And we only have one cover which we kept on washing it over and over again. Well, the colour of the covers doesn't really faded but the cushion cover just gave up its life span. It tore up tremendously due to wear & tear and of course because of the kids poking and tearing it with their whatever utensils.

At last, I gather my courage and start sewing a new cushion cover! Voila! The beautiful fabrics (Par Avion Ocean) from http://www.needleandthread.com/ a local online store which sells fabrics, really bring up a shine to the old sofa. Since its a success try thou with the so unperfect finishes, i am determined to go ahead with revamping the rest of the angles! Wish me luck!

The Tragic

''....shreeeeekk. booom!''

As I lay on my bed I saw a light beyond the horizon. Transparent. Strong yet diminishing. It seems so far & becoming very faint. As I tried each time to reach it. It gets further & further away. Blur. And I saw the darkness. Nothing else. Silence. Not even the sound of the wind. It just stop.

-----------------------------------

     Now I know why, Aunt Lina & Uncle Ria changed their insurance policy. Now I know why they withdraw all their savings. Too sudden without reasons. Now I knew why they paid off their morgage. Its so unpredictable, yet surreal. And there I saw right at a corner the faces of their children. Zuly was in a shocking state, while Hary looks almost breathless. Ri'en. She kept on crying without stopping as if you can feel that her lungs almost burst out while her eyes almost shallowing deeper and deeper.

My heart ache. I do.

I looked around searching. Still searching. I started to cry. Crying and crying. I can't stop crying. I realised that there were so many people here and so many of them. My Family. I kept on searching. My eyes go circling the surrounding. I cried my hearts out when I saw the rest of my cousins - Wannie, Wayu, Weteng and Wanis crying and sobbing. They sat closely beside Aunt Uji and Uncle Samm who is lying motionless, with their body covered with pure white cloth....Now I know why they wish for their daughters be happy and compromise, if ever they be gone. They did.

I narrowed my eyes to another corner whereby I spotted them.
And Sof and Suk with heads down. Sulking. Their parents....

I kept on looking. Thank God! I saw my kids Suf and Kai, they ran to me with much relieved potrayed on their faces. But where is Baby Fur? Where is Rid? I started crying again. Sadness eludes me. I am hoping for a miracle but am not sure if its going to be what I expected.

A child waving at me. And thank God! Rid & Baby Fur was there. Alive.

But why do my hearts still ache? I felt heavy and my body froze.

She can't be dead. They can't be dead. So many of them. So cold. It can't be all are my family. I cried and I can't stopped crying. In fact this time my crying came out from my mouth. I tried to control, I tried. Its impossible, just hours ago we had some fun together, we were planning to have it again, we were enjoying the joyous trip. We were. And we were.

I stammered when I tried to say something. It is so obvious that I can't even figure out what I was trying to say. I am stunned. Shocked at the scene. How can this be? I know God's the Greatest, but why can't I still believe that this is happening? Is it a sign to remind me? To remind me of what? What is the message that God is trying to relay to me? I do not know and I can't even think of any. My mind is blank at the moment. The bodies are so concrete. I felt the coldness eludes everyone there.

I looked again to confirm my visual. I saw my Mum, my grandparents, Aunt Lina & Uncle Ria, Aunt Uji & Uncle Sam, Uncle Shawn & Aunt Rihanna. They are all dead. Dead. Lying on the carpeted flooring only their bodies covered with white cloth.... The last I was with mum when she hugged me over the trip dinner just a few hours ago. The warmth of her cheeks still lingers on my skin...

Where are my siblings? Shara, Wadden and Maria & her family? And where is Aunt May & her family? I saw my daddy, my in-laws and their families outside the Mosque compound. They looked sad and daddy was calm thou his eyes shown a thousands sadness. Where are the rest? Rid seems to know what i am thinking. He wispered gently,''their corpse can't be found...'' ''the search is still on...''

     I am so sad. So sad...

At the other corner of the mosque, there are 3 familiar faces and few others, smiling at each other. Why? Why? My family are dead and you guys smile? They looked cynical without empathy.

Are they trying to tell me that this is how you going to feel when you lost someone dear to you... Up till now, I am still not sure. Answers. Will i get to know it? And why that I want to know? It will not bring back the dead. It will only worsen my wounds, my heart. A weak heart.

------------------------------

SYPNOSIS - all maternal families with spouses & children went for a trip in an Orange Coach bus, few came back 'dead or alive' and few not found... I am still sad. which is not right. And I still am not aware, what happened to me during the tragic trip... what do you think?

Family Lunch @ Sofra Restaurant

When it come to food, our family galores thre idea! Well, both my grandmother cooks deliciously in their own ways and my mom is no exception. Her touch is 'magic'...

Now back to the other food  thing. Apart from home-cooked, we love to explore on cuisines. Be it Indonesia, Malay, Chinese, Middle-East, Korean or Japanese food. And I am glad that I share the wild-exploration character with my other half. He simply has an eye for details especially - Food.

And so, one fine evening my dad said that lets go for a meal. A meal that he has waited for so long to happened, well especially that my sister and I are married and our timing always doesn't seems to coincide with each other. And not to mentioned that we are not living under the same roof anymore, the more its not easy to plan. So what is the food theme? Sofra. A Turkish Restaurant at Beach Road.

I simply love the interior of the restaurant. The food is tasty too. Well, the best part is we dined with our grandparents and the kids love the food too. Nasuha, Sufi, Khair & even Baby Furqan enjoyed every bit of the delicacies. Well except for Khair who ended up with bits of here and there and drinks and desserts. Its one of the best meal ever for now. Dad & Ibu sure knows where to get good, tasty food and easy on the pocket too. The price was reasonable. But the most important thing is, we had a quality time together.

Earth Day - Minimal effort than nothing else...

Its Earth Week again. Or I might call it Save the Earth Week. This time, I believe I have put in extra effort. How about you? Have you done or contribute something?

Since young, my parents has implemented the needs to eat wisely, to the extend of taking supplements (organically claimed by some Companies) to maintain our health. Needless to say, I dread it. I hate the thoughts of drinking self-brewed tumeric drinks, any herbal concoctions by my mum & not forgetting those supplements that is super tasteless to my buds. I didn't appreciate it fully that time. But I have embrace the thoughts eventually. The global warming is one of my concern. I am not really putting 100% thoughts on it, but I tried as much as I can to do something towards reducing the danger of it.

Now, we are still in the midst of cultivating our kids to love the Earth, love the nature, protect the environment, minimise wastage - shop when necessary (its not about savings $$ totally) and lots more that we will try & try & try as long as we can. We also love organics veggies, pesticide free products, supplements that use less or none of synthetic additives; artificial colouring, chemical preservatives and fragrances.

Just for the record, Organic Products are made from ingredients that are grown without using pesticides, synthetic fertilisers, genetically modified organisms or radiation. Usually, these are labeled so you will not miss the info so easily.


What I have done for past years:
- recycled jeans into drink coasters
- recycled papers, reuse it
- recycled loosen socks as window wipes
- recycled clothes to wipe the floor before throwing it
- Breastfeeding reduce the usage of electricity to boil water, reduce plastic bottles
- Minimise waste. Only shop for items that will last me years.
- And cloth diapering, which I fall in love with it for such a long time
- Swith off electric appliances when not in use
- Bring own lunch box for my kids if possible
- Eat more veggies instead of meat, thou red meat are important in your daily diet.
- We purposely do not install any air-conditioners at home (we are lucky our house is a breeze-nope!its just a hdb flat!!)
- Our car is OPC, means we minimise our petrol usage.

And we are hoping to try more & do more & more.. You too!

Love the Earth!

Feeling Great! Body Repaired Done!

For the past few weeks, my body has started aching, aching & aching. My self-endurance i must say has expired. My body needs repair every 2 weeks if i am in the midst of breastfeeding duty but has been delaying it due to time constraint. And the aching gets worst!

And today, Mak (MIL) came over to give me a full body-massage and i go ooohhh! Awwww! Haha most of the times! I can feel the veins are really hay-wired, not in line & sore. Oh all those carrying Baby Furqan, lying side to side during breastfeeding and all those mothering duties. I felt good. Thanks Mak for the help.
And now, im feeling the sore back just after two hours of feeling good! Well, a mothering duty never ends, but at least, the body is well-maintained for now...

The kiddos... Updates & tips to share. Hopefully.

Its Friday again. And I am loving it so far. The boys has been great these past days especially Sufi & Khair. And maybe the weather are great always each day, each time when they are home from school. Sometimes, the humid & hot weather makes a kid restless & will trigger their unbelievable tantrums! Not mentioning the adults too.

For April, Sufi has started his Arabic Tuition. Every alternate Fridays. For the rate in Singapore, alternate weeks for tuition is not enough. But Rid & I do not wish to put a stress to the kids. Since they are enrol in the Islamic school, secular & ukhrawi has already taken half of their day.

When Sufi is attending Arabic Class, we will spend time with Khair & Baby Furqan.

Sufi starts school at 7.30am and ends til 4pm. Except on Fridays till 2pm.

Khair start school from 11.30am & ends till 2.30pm.

And I am always looking forward to Fridays, its a start of an early weekend for us. Well, after their snack time, shower and they will start with their cartoons, playtime with Baby Furqan, updates for http://www.ridlisexplorer.com/ or just relax...
If Rid is not working on Friday, we will spend the evening at the park or cycling. Followed by dinner & then school homework if possible to be completed by tonight. We prefer the weekend to be just relax, apart from Mind-Maping/Interactive Learning which is just in between meals, tv or just hangout..

Saturdays will be swimming training which will last the whole morning having fun at the pool. And followed by Art Lesson or Phonics at home, self-taught on alternate saturdays. The reason, do not want the kids to be too tight up in classes, and I want to bond with them as much as i can.

And the rest of the weekend, hurrayyy!! Its always fun, fun & fun especially hubby is a great entertainer to the kids. They just love him!
And looking forward to the next, next & more to come weekends. Always.

Forget to mentioned, we had great time at the Anchorvale Park last few days. The nature is serene, the kids is running around freely without boundaries.

love equally

For past years Rid & I have been exercising equal attention on the two older boys. Trying still each & everyday. Especially when they are just two years apart, it was easy to spend time equally, quality ways. Its either way, I hangout with Sufi or another part with Khair. Sometimes it just happened that we switch roles on the attention job as much as we can so as not to make each one of them feel neglected.

Even when I went through the 3rd pregnancy phase, I still can managed paying attention to both of them equally. So far, as far as I am concerned, we have done a great job. Sometimes,  bring Sufi out for a short trip to the ColdStorage & do some fruits shopping or sometimes I bring Khair to the playground when Sufi was in a class. Most times, we spend crafty lessons & swimming together.

For now, since Baby Fur entered the family zone, I realised that time is never enough. Juggling the kids with my small tiny work & also the household. And not forgetting I need to spend quality time with Rid too, esp. Well, he is the 'man behind this tiny weeny lady' who is trying to be a SuperWife, SuperMom! hahhh! And so little time for myself. Any time that I have will be well-spent with routines.
And I find it so helpless, when I spend more time with either one of the boys & not the other. Which often is a case of indeliberately. I felt sad if I see either of them seating in a corner, sulking or simply just throwing tantrums to get 'our' attention.

Gosh!! I really need to learn from others a tip or two on how to spend time equally as best as I can. I do envy some stories who tried very hard & managed to do it with best result!!

Well, my situation are not in the critical stage nor it needs attention but I do not mind to improve on this.

My randoms in between SAHMing & WAHMing

Today, I had lunch at 12.30pm exactly after I managed to cook 'asam pedas' quite fast & deliciously to my expectations *winks* and start with my WAHMing with replying queries, appointments to be arranged and preparing to mail out receipts. And not forgetting planning for new promotions for collaborations with MMW Joint-Partners.
Up till today, since my last day of service with a Company few years back, I realised I still prefer to work, not only as self-employed but to work in a part-time or freelance environment. I am not sure why exactly, partly due to laziness to wake up early morning which I can't deny at all. But more than that, I can't really specify the exact reason to love working short hours. Sometimes I feel that I am totally lazy to dress according to the corporate demands, report to higher authority or so on... But I realised, I just missed home badly if I am glued to any Office Chair!
Thou I missed badly the 'CPF' monthly contribution stabilising, I missed those AGMs, I missed those paid MCs, I missed HR! I just can't, can't bring myself to wake up early morning, preparing mad-rush breakfast, leaving my kids at home with a helper & me working almost invisible from home.

All this rantings came in when a friend sent me a note... 'everyday sitting at home, with no fix income is better off go out & work your ass out & feel the luxury of dollars...'

Crude. or simply self-proclaimed.

Whatever it is, I am not offended at all. To each of its own. And I didn't seat around the house doing nothing. I do not cook 7days a week, I do not sit at home 24/7 doing nothing. I work from home. Period.

The satisfactions of individual differs. I prefer to work part-time. Or at least like the last time where I work Freelance managing MMW & a had a helper, so at least I know my kids are not away frm me too long. And I still get to work short hours, be with family & still earns... Not rich but able to call myself a 'working-mum'. Ahahhh! Self-proclaimed!

Different mothers bond differently, its the real truth. And I am one who prefers to do it this way. Be a Sahm/Wahm at the same time and bond it my ways... Even if MyMumsWorld (S) is no longer in the 'big' picture, I will still work part-time... Like I mentioned, I can't afford to wake up religiously every morning to go out & work... And do not mentioned that my husband salary is big, its just 'peanuts' for a family of 5 members... Enough to get by. Tiny. Period.

Dinner @ Seoul Garden

It just happened that everyone in the family is not working! Great food and great time we had. And the kids too! Rid was very happy, he had wanted this to happen.

My First April's entry

Its the 1st day of April. Time flies very fast. Tomorrow is Good Friday Public Holiday & the weekend will be a little bit longer than usual. We are not going anywhere tomorrow as Rid will be working until 7pm. I planned not to cook tomorrow & maybe just grab some bites with the boys. And maybe finish up my undone laundries, bedsheets, 30mins of sewing & ice-creams! Planned to, so that Saturday & Sundays will be free & more relaxing, cozying up with Chipmunks & Love.

  Ok, so the purpose of this entry is not about what I planned to do tomorrow but the shocking conversation we had with Sufi - our 7yr old eldest son. We make it a habit to chat with him every night before we tuck him to sleep. Asking him on what he did at school, how he enjoyed the day at school and anything that make him happy or sad... apart from his school work.

Earlier today, he just shoot a questions like this, 'Bapak what is F-U-C-K(he spelled it out)?' *dussshhh*!!! And our jaws dropped for a moment. Not forgetting Sara was at our home too & she goes grinning with blanks on her face. hhmmm.. So slowly we asked him, where did he hear the word from?

And Sufi start his story by mentioning that his 4 clasmates (boys) were calling each others by that F*** word in front of him...

How can a 7 yr old kid knows that kind of word, unless someone at home is using it?

Rid & myself may be very loud at home, sometimes screaming but we do not say uncensored or vulgarities at home. So the word came as an alien vocab to my kid.
We were trying to reason out, maybe the classmates parents are trying how to explain 'intercourse' but do not know how to put it nicely. But to think back, theres other words to describe as instead of F***...

Goshh! And so Rid explained to Sufi that it is a bad word describing bad actions, so refrained from following others saying it & stop yourself from saying it. Its self-discipline (akhlak).

For now, he understood.

We prayed that our children become good children with good manners, we do not asked of them to be clever or genius, but a better person with a good heart.

Insya Allah. Amin.

Lunch @ Pizza Hut

For days they have been home-schooled & behaving almost quite well... We decided to give them a treat to lunch out at their fav spot...

Lunch picnic at McRitchie Reservoir

In the morning we headed to Sufi's school to collect the Nasi Briyani Amal in conjecture of the Prophet Muhammad S.A.W birthday at Madrasah Al-Irsyad Al-Islamiah.

After that we decided to have our lunch (the briyani rice of course) at McRitchie Reservoir. We love to have picnics at parks. Its so serene & very nature feeling. The chirping of the birds & people who enjoyed the nature so much as us made our day a stress-free day...

Bonding

The pasts few days, since the kids had fever I was busy with nursing Sufi, then followed by Khair & Furqan had fever at the same time. While Sufi has recovered just before the two younger brother fall sick. I felt so handicapped and feeling lucky as my Rid was with me helping me out with boys.

When I looked at them lying on bed, I see the bonding between them. It looks stronger.

Then the strike 2am, Baby Furqan refused my breast totally! I was shocked but I thought it might be becaus eof the fever he had. But NO. He refused the breast for over 12hours and only drinking sip of plain water. And the pedeatrician recommended to express milk & cup-feed him, which i totally forget about it.

Above all, what I am trying to say here is, I felt sad. God is testing me on this bonding isssues. I have been complaining of bodyache due to nights feed, lethargic, tired and no time to do a lot of things when paying full attention to the boys & breastfeeding Furqan. Then suddenly due to the throat viral, he refuse dmy breast totally.

I continued with the milk expressing. I felt empty deep in my heart. The bonding is not the same. I am afraid of him refusing the breast permanently

After two solid days of expressing milk & drinking from the water bottle, just two hours ago... He find his way back to my breast. I cried feeling happy. I am so happy.

Thank God. Alhamdulillah. I understand more on bonding. Bonds. Its a strong feeling.

I am feeling silly, now I know.

I have been doing this for years with my two older sons, every Saturday w/out fail!! And I did't even knew that its called as 'Lapbookers'!!

What am I doing, browsing through the internet, sourcing for thematics styles to incorporate to my weekly lessons but i didnt know what its label as... And it has been selling as an educational package to all who yearns for a different approach of education.

Thanks to http://www.thetotsuniversity.blogspot.com/ that I knew what to call this practise! I'm glad i came across the website... otherwise, i will still call it 'our saturdays projects' heee...

Click to Purchase

Click to Purchase

Weekly Swimming Time

Picnic @ Anchorvale Park & Nature to Seletar

We just had Nasi Briyani

Lil' Furqan having great time..

Then we drove off to Seletar, our favourite hangout place where Nature is preserved for now...

My kids (Khair & Sufi) made new friend, Darwisy (Naval Base Pri Sch) who stayed in Yishun...