The Tragic

''....shreeeeekk. booom!''

As I lay on my bed I saw a light beyond the horizon. Transparent. Strong yet diminishing. It seems so far & becoming very faint. As I tried each time to reach it. It gets further & further away. Blur. And I saw the darkness. Nothing else. Silence. Not even the sound of the wind. It just stop.

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     Now I know why, Aunt Lina & Uncle Ria changed their insurance policy. Now I know why they withdraw all their savings. Too sudden without reasons. Now I knew why they paid off their morgage. Its so unpredictable, yet surreal. And there I saw right at a corner the faces of their children. Zuly was in a shocking state, while Hary looks almost breathless. Ri'en. She kept on crying without stopping as if you can feel that her lungs almost burst out while her eyes almost shallowing deeper and deeper.

My heart ache. I do.

I looked around searching. Still searching. I started to cry. Crying and crying. I can't stop crying. I realised that there were so many people here and so many of them. My Family. I kept on searching. My eyes go circling the surrounding. I cried my hearts out when I saw the rest of my cousins - Wannie, Wayu, Weteng and Wanis crying and sobbing. They sat closely beside Aunt Uji and Uncle Samm who is lying motionless, with their body covered with pure white cloth....Now I know why they wish for their daughters be happy and compromise, if ever they be gone. They did.

I narrowed my eyes to another corner whereby I spotted them.
And Sof and Suk with heads down. Sulking. Their parents....

I kept on looking. Thank God! I saw my kids Suf and Kai, they ran to me with much relieved potrayed on their faces. But where is Baby Fur? Where is Rid? I started crying again. Sadness eludes me. I am hoping for a miracle but am not sure if its going to be what I expected.

A child waving at me. And thank God! Rid & Baby Fur was there. Alive.

But why do my hearts still ache? I felt heavy and my body froze.

She can't be dead. They can't be dead. So many of them. So cold. It can't be all are my family. I cried and I can't stopped crying. In fact this time my crying came out from my mouth. I tried to control, I tried. Its impossible, just hours ago we had some fun together, we were planning to have it again, we were enjoying the joyous trip. We were. And we were.

I stammered when I tried to say something. It is so obvious that I can't even figure out what I was trying to say. I am stunned. Shocked at the scene. How can this be? I know God's the Greatest, but why can't I still believe that this is happening? Is it a sign to remind me? To remind me of what? What is the message that God is trying to relay to me? I do not know and I can't even think of any. My mind is blank at the moment. The bodies are so concrete. I felt the coldness eludes everyone there.

I looked again to confirm my visual. I saw my Mum, my grandparents, Aunt Lina & Uncle Ria, Aunt Uji & Uncle Sam, Uncle Shawn & Aunt Rihanna. They are all dead. Dead. Lying on the carpeted flooring only their bodies covered with white cloth.... The last I was with mum when she hugged me over the trip dinner just a few hours ago. The warmth of her cheeks still lingers on my skin...

Where are my siblings? Shara, Wadden and Maria & her family? And where is Aunt May & her family? I saw my daddy, my in-laws and their families outside the Mosque compound. They looked sad and daddy was calm thou his eyes shown a thousands sadness. Where are the rest? Rid seems to know what i am thinking. He wispered gently,''their corpse can't be found...'' ''the search is still on...''

     I am so sad. So sad...

At the other corner of the mosque, there are 3 familiar faces and few others, smiling at each other. Why? Why? My family are dead and you guys smile? They looked cynical without empathy.

Are they trying to tell me that this is how you going to feel when you lost someone dear to you... Up till now, I am still not sure. Answers. Will i get to know it? And why that I want to know? It will not bring back the dead. It will only worsen my wounds, my heart. A weak heart.

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SYPNOSIS - all maternal families with spouses & children went for a trip in an Orange Coach bus, few came back 'dead or alive' and few not found... I am still sad. which is not right. And I still am not aware, what happened to me during the tragic trip... what do you think?